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15 year old who could use some advice!

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Matty_M, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    In terms of health, virtually all of my old symptoms are gone.

    Looking at it now, the 10 months away from the terrible environment of Philadelphia to Banja Luka, Bosnia (nowhere near as developed) was what made the massive difference. I came home and teachers and even some peers didn't recognize me at first.

    - I spent all the time outside, especially in the winter
    - I drank lots of spring water, especially from a spring a 30 minute walk up a hill from my apartment
    - I ate their extremely natural food (although I did eat carbs in the winter)- lots of protein and fat; DHA from canned sardines every day
    - sunbathing all spring and then upon returning home in June
    - minimal clothing all winter (very light jacket and t-shirt)...got yelled at by my host mom and random grandmom's who thought I was going to die; swimming in the freezing cold river :D

    Some symptoms I do still notice, though:
    - a stuffy nose, which is a "signal" for me of something's up... happens when I haven't drunk as much H2O as usual, when I eat chocolate or drink any alcohol (?), too much time on any tech device, and usually I don't know the cause
    - a gassy stomach, but 1/50th of when I was 13
    - I still have significant fluctuations in my thoughts and mood; I very frequently feel lost and depressed and break down in tears in certain situations (usually related to my mom's stress that a therapist said I'm "enmeshed" with...)
    - my hands and feet get really cold (although I don't notice this when my whole body is exposed to the cold.. not sure whether it doesn't happen because of "more heating from more surface exposed" or just because I'm not thinking about it

    My current environment:

    - sleeping in my garage even in sub freezing temps now (further from Wi-Fi and smart meter... but still bathing in microwaves from all neighbors smart meters.. I live in suburbia with houses every 50 feet. Also, my computer picks up 10-20 different Wi-Fi networks in my 8 yard by 8 yard backyard. As soon as I graduate (maybe even sooner, if I work something out, I'm out of here!). This is lots of CT all night, like a hibernating mammal

    - I wake to the sun around 8:30 every morning (sister opens garage quietly when leaving for school at 6:45 AM :tears:)... I got a "doctor's note" from Mom's neurologist friend to have no morning classes; 2 graduation requirements are all that I'm taking {see last post}

    - I live 12 miles northeast of center city Philadelphia... Talk about an EMF shithole! Not to mention, I can't see a single star on even many of the clearest nights...And, it seems they decided to start the 5G rollout in my backyard... the brown towers are being put on top of a telephone pole on EVERY BLOCK!

    - I use a morning journal as described above.

    I try to meditate 10-20 minute every AM with a focus on breathing.

    I am always either barefoot or wearing "Pluggz" grounding shoes. Ruben Salinas claimed they are more conductive than leather based on his tests.

    I take a cold shower 10-20 minutes that makes the day significantly clearer than when I don't

    - As per "Health and Light", I spend all time outdoors possible from sunrise to sunset. John Ott was a genius. Guys like him deserve that we use their work right.

    - I go into school from around 11:30 AM to 3 PM.

    I wear Blutech lenses; Had to get a doctor's note to be allowed to get F.LUX and to TURN OF THE WIFI!!!! Pure idiocy.

    - Again, always grounded and outdoors after school.

    - In evening, I use computer on "f.lux darkroom mode" so the screen in black with only dim red text.

    Computer is grounded and using ethernet of course. Still, a strong magnetic field so I make sure I'm grounded and keep hands off when not typing. Considering the EMF protecting gloves... anyone have knowledge about those?

    I use a red CFL bulb to see, and a blacklight tube for UVA. From my reading, this doesn't harm the clock. In Ott's "Health and Light", though he mentions that pink is no bueno... could red alone at night potentially be no bueno? Anyone have any thoughts/experiences on this?

    I could use candlelight but is contains blue. Red CFL bulb, or candlelights with some blue?


    SWIM takes a puff or two of cannabis on the weekends with friends, and sometimes drinks at parties. But given the stuffy nose reaction to alcohol, he is cutting all alcohol completely. Also, he has a vaporizer for cannabis and so will stop smoking at all (doesn't want to damage lungs and reduce O2 going to mitochondria) and use that occasionally. However, it is not in season, so it is certainly a mismatch.

    I haven't been able to find much on here about this drug. What is the opinion? Occasionally OK? Never? Only in harvest seasons (late summer/fall?)

    How does it affect respiratory proteins in the mitochondria? (If cooked into food with fat, or used with a vaporizer).

    Is it false to assume that once a week 1 or 2 hits of smoke would have a marked effect of O2 levels reaching mitochondria?


    I'd say that, living at my house here in the Philadelphia suburbs, I couldn't do a much better job biohacking it, unless I cut all computer and phone use completely, stopped trying to read, and just spent all morning and afternoon outdoors with my shirt off meditating and running around.

    But, given that I want to set myself up to not be homeless next year and yet not go to college, reading and using the internet are relatively necessary.

    I love my friends, but they are no longer my focus. However, I acknowledge how important being social is to our species, so I have a close group of friends who I really focus on. They are the co-officers of our "Optimal Club" at school, and they're headed in the right direction, especially once we graduate and they can escape the dungeon of school every morning.

    As mentioned before, after graduating (if I am able to save enough) I plan to travel the world and/or to move to the Gulf South.

    Off to sleep! Happy winter solstice everyone.

    Attached are pictures I took on this day last year in Bosnia, and one of the 5G towers that are going up EVERYWHERE where I live. I tested them, and they're on full blast mode....

    Other photos wouldn't upload... ill try again another time. Gotta sleep

    FullSizeRender (6).jpg
  2. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    Also, here's the sonnet I referred to in the post above. It was a bit cursory, but it fits well here

    "Nature’s Light"

    There is a thought within my mind so deep
    To put to words this task with ease is not
    It stirs in times awake, in times asleep
    I wonder ‘bout the power of this thought

    At times it claws into my wond’ring soul
    For what we live it asks and then repeats
    Ignored of course we'llpay a massive toll
    Our time is short and death we cannot beat

    Abandon? No! For “sane” I dare not be
    But live we must so then what can we do
    Find peace and love and live and we’ll be free
    Respect the world and it will respect you

    If slaves we choose to be then life’s a fight
    But gifted’s he who lives in nature’s light
    Danny, Phosphene and caroline like this.
  3. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    An update in regards to my mental state, as posted in response to a thread by SeanB

    I'm a bit late to the party here BUT

    I always thought the way I feel in a given moment is a result of my mindset, thoughts, beliefs, meditation, presence, focus, etc...

    But I would often find myself still stressed, feeling "impending doom" and just feeling "wrong".

    In Mexico, Jack suggested trying CT out in natural sunlight when I feel this way, or reconnecting to nature by standing on a rock.

    The CT I've been doing consistently has flipped my world upside down. No, I don't have all the "answers" that I've been looking for (what I'm going to do with my life, what I'm going to do in any given day",

    BUT I've become a lot more comfortable with my situation in any moment. Rather than break a weak smile when I walk pas the mirror, I often break out into laughter. I went from feeling "wrong" to "right" very quickly. It's cold outside so it took a lot of motivation to "get in", but now my goal is to "get in" once every day. It has been amazing.

    I was just up camping and I got into a freezing spring for 27 minutes while there was snow on the ground. After, I got out and stood by the campfire, absorbing all the sweet sweet IR. It was pretty amazing.

    As we begin to remove the disconnects between our modern Homo Sapiens Domesticus, and begin to reconnect and become Homo Sapiens Optimalensis, I've noticed that I, at least, can immediately do important tasks or pursue trains of thought that I had been ignoring for months, but I've really wanted to do, and, likewise, to focus less on things that aren't as important to us.
    caroline, Toby King, Danny and 2 others like this.
  4. shah78

    shah78 Gold

    Homo Sapiens Disconnectus + CT > Homo Sapiens Connectus :)
    Matty_M, Danny and Alper like this.
  5. Danny

    Danny New Member

    Have you ever listened to Jack's talk w/ Erwen LeCorre on hallucinogenics? Just throwing that out there, b/c you are talking about using marijuana for your mental state. Awesome stuff you're sharing here btw.
  6. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Connect with nature.......you life depends upon it.

    If you say don’t have time to do things correctly, what makes you think you’ll have time to do it over? Nature usually does not give anyone do overs, so why don’t you make it a focus to stop cutting corners of Nature’s rules? Maybe then, you’re struggles will stop?
    caroline, Danny and Matty_M like this.
  7. shah78

    shah78 Gold

  8. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    Have not. Will look into it
  9. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    Can't wait to head south after I graduate.

    I can do just about everything: be outside all day here, CT every day, grounded constantly, limit all tech use, use not light after dark, etc.

    but given how many cell towers, smart meters, and Wi-Fi networks there are around here, I wonder whether I'll be able to "end my struggles" while still here.

    Also, I could even CT 2x per day, maybe even more but that eats up most of the free time I have in a day if I don't use any light after dark... I feel like a total slacker if I'm not getting any reading done or doing much else...

    Do you guys think if my health was 100% or even 80% of where it could be, this feeling would just go away...or have any other thoughts? I feel like focusing 100% of free time on my health now is kind of selfish from me in 6 months-1 year.

    I know there's a ton I don't know, so I'm not solidifying any beliefs.
  10. shah78

    shah78 Gold

    You answered your own question: 100 % of your free time should be spent on getting to 100%. with zero % guilt.
    caroline likes this.
  11. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I spent all morning catching up on Jack's FB. I've been so obsessed with "doing something"; now I feel really "off" after doing that.

    If I spend all my free time getting to my best, I feel totally short-sighted because I won't have any way to support myself after I graduate next year, and would have to either go to college (Dad pays) and/or get a job trading time for $$$.

    Where would you draw the line between figuring out how to support my future self and focusing on myself now?
  12. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I'd like to think that optimizing the crap out of myself now will help me straighten out next year, but I'm currently not willing to bank on this assumption.
  13. Penny

    Penny New Member

    Go to college Matty - it's a no brainer - just my 2 cents:) Just do it where you get more sunshine - ASU is a fun school with lots of sunshine - and it's cheap... you can even get a degree online from there - in fact, Georgia tech is offering a masters in EE for $7,000.00 - and it's just like the $35,000 one they charge to students who go to the brick and mortar - maybe to motivate yourself, you can get a degree that would help you change just a little piece of the world - and there's nothing wrong with cruising the country and checking out universities and seeing how you feel in that environment - bring a meter of course - and make sure it's not one of the next 5g rollout places - Dr K's facebook page is amazing but it does occupy a lot of time - I just print them out and read them later -

    If not, there is always a 2 year stint at the peace corp... :
    caroline and shah78 like this.
  14. Penny

    Penny New Member

    How do you vape Mary Jane? I mean the oil around here is $500.00/oz -
  15. shah78

    shah78 Gold

    Remember, you asked about your free time. I'm assuming you still do school work and other things. Go to college. (In the south.Find something rural.) ..... Eat, make phone calls,read /write your papers in the Cold Tub. Make a desk top for you tub. Take it to college. It will be a lot better than high school for you. Class time is much less and you can miss a hell of a lot of classes once you figure out which class times are a complete waste. With the right major you could whittle class/blue light time down to 5 to ten hours a week. Be a psych major.

    Danny, caroline and Inger like this.
  16. Penny

    Penny New Member

    caroline and Matty_M like this.
  17. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I've gotten a lot of advice from people here that college may not be the best move because of the environment, and that someone with motivation can teach themself anything today with the internet.

    Then I have to figure out how to support myself. I'm saving now but I don't know how long it will last. Ideally I could start a business and get cash flow, but that's not something I can depend on obviously.

    So now my choice is a) go to college until I can figure out something better
    B) save now, go south and get a job, and work for something to materialize
  18. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I am not understanding your train of thought Matty......

    Penny and Shah have really terrific advice ....please re read and absorb.

    Going to school in the south somewhere is a no brainer with your Dad paying the bills. You will be fortifying yourself for your future and making all kinds of contacts.

    Do you meditate every day? please stop and smell the roses.....

    Live the three legged stool ..... Jack has said that anything he posts in FB is also posted here.

    We all have the same problem trying to keep up with Jack and all the stuff he writes.

    I am gambling that living my life optimally is the most important thing. FB is way down my list of things to do!

    Maybe have a conversation with Jeremy Thomly? I am guessing he doesn't sit around reading FB all day.
    Danny and shah78 like this.
  19. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I only read Jack's FB, nothing else, because I seem to get things I've missed on the blog. But I think I've become hyperobsessed with "learning" and "trying to fix the problem" to the point where I hardly enjoy anything else I do.

    I've been talking with some wise, close friends and decided I need to straighten myself out before I try helping other people.

    My environment here is terrible; I do so much more for "optimal" than anyone around me, yet I still feel depressed too often. I reason that it's due to not knowing what I really want, but Jack said in Mexico it's the environment.

    My real question is: if I went to Florida or Mexico and really optimized myself 100%, but still think that I am a bystander: people are being killed and I'm not doing much about it, would I be totally happy because I'm 100% "optimal"?

    From my experience recently with CT, I will posit that optimizing myself doesn't solve THE problems in our society, but it solves MY problems/my perception of problems I have, so that I can take actions with more clarity, my well-being independent of the outcome of my attempts to help our society.

    Shri, the genius fiberoptic cable man who was in Mexico has suggested me against college; he says anyone can themselves anything with the internet today. I'm probably going to go down and live with a mate and teach myself, test to a degree (bachelor's), work on optimizing myself, maybe starting a business, and go off to law school after I get my bachelor's degree so I can carry Marino's torch.

    Thanks so much for all the advice. I love you guys . I get really down sometimes and besides the poor environment here, i've been isolating myself from human contact with the hyperfocus on reading, optimizing, not using any light after dark, etc. I've gotta show myself a little love. I know things are right when I get in the tub or sit around a bonfire (doing this now with my friends)

  20. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    obviously you have to do what is right for you Matty ..... not one of us can walk in your shoes. You do need to be optimal tho to help others and make a difference.

    Trust your instincts Matty and fly! no parachute necessary - you will develop wings on the way down.

    Nothing is irreversible.....you can always go to college at a later date if you want to. Maybe be a beach bum in Mexico for awhile?

    Cut yourself some slack Matty.

    I am sure you have noticed ....Jack works extremely hard - but he always has enuf time to be a great listener. He also knows how to have a really good time and enjoy his life to the max.

    Are you doing C/T everyday?

    My partner's 32 year old son spent two years travelling the world and working when he ran out of money. He got home a year ago. Since then he has met a wonderful young woman who is a Doctor and is starting College next week to become a physio.

    Life has lots of twists and turns ...... get in your canoe, with both oars in the water - and start paddling!
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2017
    Matty_M and Danny like this.

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