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15 year old who could use some advice!

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Matty_M, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    P.S.

    - I am really confused on whether I should include seasonal carbs or not.

    ----------

    - For my trip I am going to buy some stone ground fresh bread http://www.grainstorm.com/ to adjust before I leave, because bread is a main source of food, along with meat and vegetables. In the winter I might buy butter to replace it if I can, however I will get a feel for what is acceptable first.
     
  2. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    Woohoo!!!!!

    image.jpg
    Separately, I can't wait to have the ethernet converters for my phone...
     
  3. seanb4

    seanb4 New Member

    @yewwei.tan You said you view vegetables as completely optional due to gut issues. I thought this too until recently including them again (esp fruit) helped with dry mouth / hydration even though they still cause gut problems.

    I'm thinking I was missing out on something with vlc. Could you post a sample of what you usually eat?
     
  4. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I haven't been on the forum much at all. I do not think I can ground my computer while in Bosnia because the outlets are not grounded, therefore I try to use it as little as possible.

    Anyway a short update:

    I'm doing phenomenally. I feel quite amazing. Every single morning I get out in the AM sun, barefoot beside the river or on a hill beside the city for at least and hour (it is so beautiful words cannot describe people. look at my website of pictures regularly at vsco.co/matt-maruca) (consistently for the 5 months I've been here and even more consistently and longer duration (3-4 hours as opposed to 1-2) in the last month on winter break.). I eat a can of sardines in olive oil from the Adriatic every day for my DHA. This was difficult because I really had difficulty stomaching them coming from vegetarian and having created a gag-reflex in my mind. Now, it's no problem and I'm coming to like them. There is not much access to seafood here, only canned (most of which is farmed and probably not good at all because Bosnia is a poor country- average income is 400 Euros per month for working people, and 40% are unemployed) as well as river fish. My host parents do the cooking and do not cook fish regularly and I prefer to just eat the canned sardines (high in DHA) rather than challenge their way of doing things. They are very busy and stressed and of course blue light toxic and UV deficient but would never even begin to hear a word of what I have to say because my host dad went to medical school so he know "everything there is to know...". It's sad that certain flawed beliefs are literally a death sentence in our modern world.

    One thing I've realized after wondering why I was so lucky as to end up here is that the reason I'm here and not still plagued with issues is because I was taught that life is beautiful, to challenge my beliefs, think differently, and remain curious. I now believe that is the most important part of this journey to help those who can be helped- a battle against ignorance.

    I attempt to sleep close to 9 every night, usually between 9 and 10. 9 has become my deadline for doing anything. On weekends I stretch this because to have a social life in my generation you have to stay out late on the weekends. I have also been up later on average during this month of winter break which ends on monday. I don't like it, but until I graduate and get myself together with people who think the same way (like Keaton from Cali and the whole rest of the crowd), I'll be finding the best ways to enjoy my life while biohacking, knowing that optimal is my #1 priority. When planning to go on exchange I imagined I wouldn't have much flexibility so I decided to embrace having to possibly doing things sub-optimally- like eating carbs in winter, being around wi-fi a lot, and other things I might not be able to control. The opposite has turned out to be true, I do have a good bit of control. I do not have an option to not eat carbs in these winter months without probably offending my host parents and causing a problem. I judge it's better here than in Philly because here I'm not locked inside between 7:30 and 2:40 every day (that's my high school and most others in the states, guys, that's the youth, just so you're aware...), so I opt for the better of two bad things.

    The local water in chlorinated of course, so I was buying jugs of spring water for a long time until I found a tap in the hills where I go almost every day, and I began to bring with me a 6L jug to fill up. Now I get all of my water from there. I will soon go all the way up the small stream to see where the water comes from, although it never stops flowing so I am pretty certain it's a spring from the hills. The tap is from 1937, it has a guy's name and the year engraved on a rock. I assumed it's safe and I've felt unbelievable since drinking it regularly, so I'm going to go with it. I drink around 4 L per day though I should get up to 6. I bought some nice glass bottles (pic on my photo blog, linked up top) to drink from as opposed to plastic. Also I have a 2L steel hydroflask. When I'm in school all day I buy bottled water if I can't get home to refill myself and my jug from my stash. I've eliminated all plastic except the big carrying jug, I think it's the best I can do to get water from the tap. I replace it every week or two to avoid leaching of toxins from the plastic- I don't know much about it but I'm just trying to be safe. By now, it's been almost a month, I am certainly almost entirely composed of water from that tap. The only bad water is in the food I eat that my host parents cook- small amounts of the chloride I guess. The best I can do is just eat less of their food and load up on the canned sardines...not a bad deal. They cost 2.2 KM (1.2 dollars) per 100g tin, and they're amazing.

    When I first got here I CT'd in the river almost every single day. Eventually it became so cold (40-45 F, flowing like a monster despite its relatively small width of maybe 30 meters) that I could not force myself to do it anymore, and it probably wouldn't be safe. A few times I shivered for almost an hour afterwards, definitely beyond my level. I eventually moved to the bathtub with the cold tap water. I was doing that 1-3 times per week, although not very regularly. I've almost virtually halted because for some reason I cannot force myself to do the bath. I don't know why.. I adapted, I know I have the ability, I've taken multiple baths around 50 F and swam in much colder water in the Rockies with no problem... I just fear the intense experience and the initial shock, even though it feels pretty good once I get all the way in. I'm not sure why this is the case, and this probably sounds strange for someone whose whole thinking often revolves around optimal. Any advice on this? I'm not going to force myself to do anything, just do it if I want. I could probably go 2-3 times a week going forward as school is starting at around 50 F for around 1 hour (how long I can go), so I'll attempt to revamp this hack. Could it have something to do with the fact that I've been eating grains and carbs in winter on this exchange?

    As for carbs, I still feel a pull to them despite all the progress I've made. I feel incomplete without them, like I need them. This is nothing new for a kid who was just a year and a half ago cyclically extreme GAPS dieting thinking diet was the only solution and uncontrollably binging on Cherry Garcia Ben and Jerry's. So fucked up. I felt like a crack addict must feel. I've read a huge portion of the blogs, trying to find what's left that I can understand, because without reading some books first I can no longer understand the Time series, nor much of Ubiquitination, and I feel like I'm forcing myself to read and not learning anything. I have to step back and move through the blogs in order and read the books. I've read The Body Electric, now The Fourth Phase of Water. Next is "Going Somewhere" because I have it, then I'll order more. I am a slow reader because I cannot focus... so I'm trying to simultaneously increase my dopamine to do so. I haven't had a sunny season yet knowing what I've learned about the sun, so I await the sun from the south like a man on trial awaits his destiny. I don't know what's going to happen- however for me I can imagine it will be amazing, especially the combo of getting in the river and laying in the sun afterwards.

    Another "hole"- when I go out SWIM drinks because of the social pull, even though he knows it's terrible for him. SWIM has to just decide what's most important to him. He has no desire for alcohol but it's the social pull. He does know, though, that less is always better. Also, he should opt. for wine over beer or the harder stuff. The quality of things here is much better, a result of being a country where most products (in the right season) come from the country.

    The girls here are unbelievably attractive, despite their high use of tech. I imagine it will catch up with them. It must be the combination of being outside a lot, not being near any big cities, such good food all naturally organic and high consumption of fat. Surprisingly not much DHA though. When I say attractive I mean there's some (not many) overweight and unattractive girls. Then, there's plenty of average looking girls and quite a lot of cute/pretty girls, even very nice looking ones like in the US (depsite many fewer at my school). Then, there are a LOT of girls who I call "unicorns"- literally they are fairly tall, slim and very toned, amazing curves, very nice features, and beautiful faces, like goddesses. They also dress very well and use make-up nicely, but without all of that the difference in girls strikes me as too big to be explained by environment. Certainly there's a decent genetic component, and the fact that I have different genes so am probably more attracted to them, as well as very high testosterone because of the things I do (between December and May I went from the bottom of the reference range- around 400 something to out of the reference range- around 1300. Now, nearly a year later, I can't imagine.) I can only think about girls, and they're very difficult here compared to home....

    In terms of light I do well being outside very very often especially in the AM, and I always have my Skypers on at night. I got Bluetechs (my mom shipped them) and I will use them when I'm back in school. I have a pair of red BPI tinted glasses for in school after dark. In public I don't like to wear the BPI's because I care too much about getting a girl here.. so I use bluetechs and especially I pick a cafe that is dimly lit (thankfully most lights here are incandescent!!!!), and clubs where SWIM goes occasionally are usually pretty dark. I use no fake light when it's up to me besides my computer and phone which are fluxxed all the way out, I use candles or sunlight.

    I am constantly near the wifi router when in the house but I turn it off at night and my host parents are totally cool with it, they understand there's some research out there and don't mind. Like I mentioned my computer is ungrounded so it's best I avoid it...

    I should get a UV and IR setup for when I "must" be inside but I'm avoiding spending the time looking because of the time it will take on the computer... I don't understand why there isn't a definitive guide in the sticky on the QHFB group... I'd also love to get a membership on this site for more content but I don't work so I'll have to see if I could get it as a present, however unlikely due to my best plan:

    I will probably rent (ie my parents) an apartment/small house (around $250 and $600 per month for the place and all utilities, respectively- this place is very cheap compared to the US) and stay in Banja Luka for my last year of high school, because I will not return to a school where I can't go outside every day from 7:30-2:40 (except maybe 20 minutes in the courtyard or occasionally with gym class). I would learn to live alone and have a lot more freedom to biohack. Although it's not the Yucatan or the Gulf Coast, it's ideal given being in high school. Most in the US, even in Florida would not allow me much time outside at all during the day, much less the amazing experience of being in this city with so many great people and beautiful girls, as well as a great school. My mom was in full support and my dad is willing to pay for boarding school and wants the best for me so this is a win because it's way cheaper and a win overall.

    On that note- Banja Luka is so beautiful, the people are so kind, I love just being here and I feel amazing. I'm deepening relationships all around and being able to finish high school here would be so amazing for me, not having to leave this world I've created. A lot of people here really like me and really care about me. The city is almost entirely Serb since the war, and they get a very bad rap for the ethnic cleansing that went on during the Bosnian war- but we all know, especially well here, how submissive humans are to authority, feelings, and bad thinking- those things shouldn't immediately qualify them all as "bad people", because the exact opposite is the case. It does shock me though how people here after the fall of Yugoslavia were really forced to identify with their religion (Serb- orthodox, Bosniak- Muslim, Croat- catholic). The language in this city is Serbian, and everyone follows Serbian teams and reps the Serbian flag, the country's flag rarely flies here, and people are much more closely united with Serbia in general in the "Republika Srpska"- this entity of Bosnia. I spend my time in the sun by the river or walking in the hills (on trails), out with friends "for coffee" (I usually just drink mineral water), in school, reading and doing homework.

    I have had a lot of mental "battles" because sometimes I can't stop thinking and overthinking random things like my health, my obligations, etc., and getting a feeling of stress. I often ascribe it to an internal problem although in my heart I know it's because I'm still very much recovering from how destroyed I was just 1 year ago. Here's a picture of me with a friend in May 2014, 1 year and 8 months ago. I was so scrawny and like a zombie and this wasn't even the worst, this was 5 months of paleo which helped a bit. The sun will come soon and I will live in it and enter a new reality. 10340148_732799463430138_3216612298407557869_n.jpg
    Here's me now, I hardly work out but a lot of people tell me I'm gaining weight because they can't believe how much muscle I'm putting on.... IMG_6051.JPG

    Lots of love everyone and thanks Dr. K,

    - Matt
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  5. shah78

    shah78 Gold

    WOW!!!!!!! The pics say it all.. Testosterone level of 400 vs. 1000. ......My only negative take away: Spring+ Summer will cure any "mental" battle you're having now. You're hanging out in Eastern Europe in the WINTER!!!!!! Eastern Europe/Russia was about the only thing that could stop Hitler!!!! :) Give yourself a break! :) I have "mental" battles lately , and I live in South Florida. It's just called winter...... Bravo!
     
  6. Danny

    Danny New Member

    Absolutely amazing dude!
     
    Matty_M likes this.
  7. Danny

    Danny New Member

     
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  8. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I should also note that the title is wrong... I've been 16 now for 6 months
     
  9. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    thanks! I'm lucky I was taught to challenge my thinking
     
  10. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    I really appreciate this. I have to give myself a break... After all I'm just an upright monkey with a big brain, and I never want this monkey to be stressed or feel thay everything is less than ok. I'm very proud of the pic... I'm just getting stronger :). Can't wait for the sun. All the best
     
    caroline likes this.
  11. Inger

    Inger Silver

    looking great :).... you have turned into a testosterone bomb, huh :) :) :)
     
    Matty_M likes this.
  12. Lahelada

    Lahelada New Member

    "Another "hole"- when I go out SWIM drinks because of the social pull, even though he knows it's terrible for him. SWIM has to just decide what's most important to him. He has no desire for alcohol but it's the social pull. He does know, though, that less is always better. Also, he should opt. for wine over beer or the harder stuff. The quality of things here is much better, a result of being a country where most products (in the right season) come from the country."

    SWIM does realise that the search for alcohol is a search for dopamine. So the company SWIM keeps is important to watch. IF SWIM knows that and makes sure that his dopamine bottle is full from a variety of feel good experiences he will be OK. SWIM has more wisdom than his peers. He should not forget it for social reasons. He should marry the " I "and "He"again so as not to be incomplete....

    Said with the experience of my almost diametrically opposed age of 51...;)

    You are doing great which no doubt you know. I saw it coming but I am surprised how little time it took.
    Glad you are staying on.
     
    Matty_M likes this.
  13. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club


    I only use SWIM because I could (would) get sent home if I were caught drinking, all the more reason not to, really....

    Thanks a lot. When I want something, I get it. If I don't have the means,
    I make the means.
     
    Lahelada likes this.
  14. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    Jack wasn't lying about all this light stuff :D. Seriously though, the physics affect is far greater than I could imagine. I do still have some allergy symptoms (mostly just a stuffy nose, occasional overly itchy skin) which I think will disappear as the sun comes back. :)
     
  15. Calum

    Calum New Member

    Great job matt. Can I ask what red lazer goggles you use? If you could tell that would be great :)
     
  16. Calum

    Calum New Member

    Loving the tent!
     
  17. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

  18. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

  19. Matty_M

    Matty_M Purple Angel Club

    So it's been a long while since I updated here.

    I just had an FB conversation with another member here that pretty much sums up where I'm at.

    -------
    lohd2015:
    You have a unique perspective on life. I'd love to hear about how you experience the Yucatan.
    9:09PM

    me:
    I'd be glad to share. What makes you think I have a unique perspective? I will admit that I certainly do, although I do not yet talk about it very often. I am only 17 so having found all of this quantum health stuff due to past health issues really puts me in a one-of-a-kind position, being the youngest person in the whole quantum community

    lohd2015:
    Matt, I was very impressed by your entries in your journal at the Forum. For a person of your age, you are taking life very seriously, and with great responsibility towards your fellowmen. What you said today does not sound like something from someone so young {Referring to my post in the mexico event thread}"At this point, I see the end goal as proving to Mother Nature that she didn't screw up completely by creating humans...The way I see it is that humans are the organism "furthest from entropy", so to speak; I don't believe it's anthropocentric to say that we can feel the most complex pleasure (e.g. dopamine/serotonin/oxytocin) of any organism alive; we know this because we have much bigger frontal lobes than any other organism and more dopamine, etc.. I see pleasure as manifestation of the "escape from entropy", which I currently see as the whole existence of life. Negative entropy, enthropy, etc. Of course, all of this is caused by energy from the SUN that energizes particles on the surface of the earth in specific ways that created us." Having to deal with difficult health issues always makes one grow. You definitely are the youngest person in the quantum community who can express such deep understanding of the manifestation of living a healthy life. We do have many young participants who are benefiting from these incredible quantum principles, but no one so youthful has yet grasped the philosophical nature behind these principles.



    If you are interested in the idea of complex pleasures, take a look at my last major entry in the thread "How to Biohack Music", on the topic of consonance and dissonance, or the resolution of pain and pleasure, so to speak.
    If you are not into music, the subject may be a bit dense.

    me:
    I will open that up now! Thank you so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate it. I often feel very alone and like I am wandering down a lonely, uncertain path. But, I am sustained knowing that this is how most people who achieved the greatest accomplishments for our species felt.

    At this point, as I'm a senior in high school, I am generally focusing on

    1) my optimal health, consciousness, spirit, etc,

    2) supporting myself after graduation to avoid a toxic college environment and have time to figure out where I will go in life (I'm most likely going to travel the world.. if you have any ideas of how to live Optimally, extremely inexpensively, and have internet connection to do work, please let me know!)

    3) Learning... Especially Dr. Kruse's blog (I've listened to probably every podcast he's ever recorded now), the books underlying quantum biology, as well as anything regarding the societal issue (such as "On the Structure of Scientific Revolutions). I also like startup-type books about solutions to hard problems, for example, and people like Tim Ferriss, who seem to be generally good at making the most of life, being efficient, achieving massive goals, and remaining sane.

    4) sharing "optimal"... especially with friends and family, or peers at my school who I can clearly see are being destroyed by the environment. I almost feel like I must be insane, like I have some mental disability... but when I see 29 students in one class open their laptops at the same time and everyone goes like a zombie into the screen, it is clear that not a single other person has even the slightest clue about the effects of wireless technology and artificial lighting. Of course, I take only the classes required to graduate, no more, so that I can be free in the morning sunlight until about 11:30 AM every day. It is really great. Minimal meaningless homework and lots of time to read, meditate, improve my mitochondria, and think.

    ^^ I am thinking I will put this in my personal journal, which I havent updated in over a year


    lohd2015:
    You should. It's seriously good stuff. [​IMG]

    me:
    thank you so much. You've graced my life in a really beautiful way today. It's the smallest things that make the biggest difference and keep me going. When one friend told me that it's clear that I have tons of knowledge when I speak in front of the "Optimal Club" that i founded at school, or when yesterday my sister was the one person who told me she loved my Happy Holidays email to the club, and when you messaged me today. I appreciate it so much.

    lohd2015:
    You are at a really pivotal point in your life, Matt. You are thinking correctly, and you have great mental clarity.
    Thank you! I just started doing something in the morning called "morning pages" suggested by Tim Ferriss, which has revolutionized my thinking. It's basically: - any memories of dreams - 10 things I'm grateful for from yesterday (you will be one of them tomorrow morning!) - a stream of consciousness; ie anything distracting or on the mind - and 3 things that would make today great

    me:
    Also, I've noticed that consistently taking a 10-20 minute cold shower supercharges me and makes everything difficult feel trivial and easy to overcome
    (every morning)


    lohd2015:
    You will connect with many more interesting and unique people as you progress through life, because you yourself are full of light. When you feel alone because you have such high expectations from life, remember that you are truly special, and the most intelligent people are often 'lonely' in that they have fewer friends.
    [​IMG]

    lohd2015:
    cold showers are great...have you read the doc's series on Cold Thermogenesis?
    I should get going to sleep (I sleep outdoors in the freezing cold, but I thermogenesize and heat my "cocoon")


    of course I have [​IMG]
    ^^

    lohd2015:
    Basically cold causes IR release in mitochondria to heat the EZ and shrink the respiratory proteins...a super way to heal all diseases.


    That's what drew me to Dr. Kruse! I was so fascinated and just thought, if nothing else, being able to burn my fat as heat like a Sherpa and the Iceman would be so cool

    lohd2015:
    Nice. Good night. I am also grateful to connect with such a beautiful soul as yours.
    I have yet to graduate to sleeping in the freezing cold....
    Life in the Yucatans, in a small town like Progreso can be extremely inexpensive. I can start talking about that aspect of living tomorrow. Good night again.


    me:
    I've heard that now about 500 times reading Jack's blog and the podcasts [​IMG] it's so amazing really that we have this understanding.

    me:
    Also, reading the book Cosmosapiens that Jack suggested put my existence into such perspective... the book speaks of the origin of matter and the infinite universe which immediately makes me feel like "no matter how bad things seem to me, they really aren't that "bad", and bad is just a construct of my mind....this concept is only further strenghtened when reading about the evolution of life and even just humans over 1000's of years and 100's of generations involving billions of individuals, many of whom were buried alive, tortured, beaten to death, starved, mutilated, and so on. I have it pretty damn good! Anything negative I allow in my mind I have begun to perceive as a disrespect of nature and what she has given to me. I recently wrote a sonnet in English and the line that stuck out most to me was "respect the world and it will respect you"

    Thank you! If you don't mind, I will put this conversation on my journal now
    If you'd prefer, I can exclude your parts if you'd like

    lohd2015:
    No, it's alright. I don't mind. What I wrote is for you.
    Good night.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  20. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    nice job.
     

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