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1 kid vs 2

Discussion in 'Optimal Kids' started by Rela, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. Rela

    Rela New Member

    We have a daughter who just turned 2. Now we are contemplating if we should have another kid or not. I am really confused about it..... The reason we want another is.... so our daughter doesn’t feel alone..... we are four siblings and have each other’s back all the time. It makes me feel sad that if we don’t give her sibling she will miss so much

    But the reason I am thinking so much about it is.... it’s definitely lots of work.... mentally and physically both.I have had a stillbirth before my daughter was born......And above all I will be 35 soon so biological clock is also clicking.

    Of course this should always a personal decision . But I would like to know about this community’s opinion on 2 kids vs 1
  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Why would you care about crowd sourcing your life?

    Anyone see a problem there related to redox and dopamine?

    I think you answered youre own question and you don't even realize it.

    Dunning Kruger 101.
    Brent Patrick and Rela like this.
  3. Rela

    Rela New Member

    Jack.... I had to google Dunning Kruger
  4. Rela

    Rela New Member

    And I thought life ( including this website) is all about crowdsourcing from other people’s experiences
  5. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Nope........it is about learning how nature requires us to live.
    Brent Patrick likes this.
  6. Rela

    Rela New Member

    That is what I was asking Jack. Reproducing and raising kids is also part of life. May be my style of asking this question was wrong. Instead I could have asked something like ....” how much toll it takes on your body to be pregnant after 35”......or.....Is it more natural to have more than one kid.... lol
  7. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    The surface answer is easy........the real answer won't be so why would you ask people this who have no earthly idea about any of your thermodynamic givens? The decision is wholly tied to each one of them.
  8. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    There are many reasons to procreate.
    My Mom and Dad loved each other.
    They were dirt poor.
    Germans invaded Poland (Sept 1939)
    My dad is drafted to defend his Country.
    Before he left to fight they were in camps for few weeks to organize.
    They had no food, women had to bring food to men in camps.
    My parents decided that they want to have a child so my Mom could have some memory about my Dad if he would get killed.
    That is why I am here.
    My Dad came from WWII in one piece when I was about 5yo and joined us.
    My parents were fighting about which one have better idea to raise me as a good person.
    Not sure if they succeeded but definitely they tried.
    From some of your posts it sounds as you are good person.
    There is newer to many of good people.
    Get some more.

    Sandra, WalterNL, Sheddie and 2 others like this.
  9. Rela

    Rela New Member

    What a story.... sounds straight out of a happy ending romantic movie!!

    Thanks for your kind words JanSz.... not sure if I am a good person or not... but felt good to have a new point of view to this whole dilemma.

    So were you a single kid to your parents? If yes.... did you miss having a sibling at any stage of your life?
  10. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    I live in USA 07054
    I am single kid, no brothers or sisters.
    After my Father died in Poland in 1979, my Mom stayed with us for 25years.
    I have two children, boy and a girl.
    I am working on my 78th year, my wife died last October 5th. Now I am alone.
    My daughter is married, husband + 2 kids, lives down the street from me.
    Son is married too, they are working on having a baby.

    seanb4 and Rela like this.
  11. ScottishEmma

    ScottishEmma Silver

    We have two. Two years apart. Best decision ever. I was an only child and I truly believe at least one sibling is good for all kinds of reasons. If you're going to do it do it now. 2 years is a good gap.
    Rela and seanb4 like this.
  12. FWIW, I was 43 when my youngest daughter was born. The pregnancy was a breeze, although I do remember feeling more tired in the first 3 months than I was during the first 3 children in my twenties. I know everybody is different, but being 35 shouldn’t be an obstacle.
    Valsun12, Rela and ScottishEmma like this.
  13. ScottishEmma

    ScottishEmma Silver

    I had my second child at 37. I'm fucking knackered all the time. Knackered! Still catching up on sleep :)
    Rela likes this.
  14. Rela

    Rela New Member

    Thanks for your input on this Emma.
  15. Rela

    Rela New Member

    Good to hear.... that it is not a big deal being pregnant after 35
  16. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    It was a secret until yesterday. No more.
    My son's wife is pregnant. She is 30.75 yo
    Wish us luck.

    Phosphene, drezy, Rela and 4 others like this.
  17. Congratulations, janSz!
    JanSz likes this.
  18. WalterNL

    WalterNL New Member

    Great news, congratulations!
    JanSz likes this.
  19. shiran

    shiran Curious

    congratulations! good luck
    JanSz likes this.
  20. Rela

    Rela New Member

    JanSz likes this.

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